SHE DIDN'T STEAL YOUR MAN. HE LEFT...

SHE DIDN'T STEAL YOUR MAN, HE LEFT YOU!

I'm so tired of hearing ladies slut shaming other ladies and giving them a demeaning tag "MAN STEALER".
It's so annoying, and I can relate because I had a first hand experience in this kinda situation.
Lemme fill you in:
It was my freshman year, I had spent about a week in school.
Early in the morning of my first Saturday. I was tryna do some laundry, when my phone rang. I picked it up, it was one Aunty.

Me:       hello
Aunty:  is this Dami?
Me:       yes, this is she
Aunty:    okay o, I'm Corper Bisola presently
             serving in town-x
Me:      okayyyy?
Aunty:    I want you to stay away from my fiance...

Gaaan! Gaaan!

Me: fiance ke? Who?
Aunty: Ola......

Sincerely, I was totally oblivious of who she talked about. So I tried to get more explanation

Me: which Ola?

Aunty went haywire o

Aunty: hey Dami,  don't start pretending here o, all these small girls snatching people's husbands and boyfriends all around.

Eh!..... ori mi kan fo lo ni......me? Husband snatcher?

Hahaha,
I'm laughing, but it wasn't funny at the time
Anyways, I gave anty what she was looking for in LARGE measures!
Agbaya!.....

See o, this said 'fiance', would come to my house, from where we'd go to the basketball court with my brothers o! About 5 other guys o!

This fiance is good, by every standard of the word "good". But not for me, he didn't tick a single box on my checklist.
Or maybe I'd consider his passion for basketball.
But com'on guys, what's 1/10? It's a big F9.
We don't profess the same creed, standards, life goals, beliefs, passions or ambitions. Nothing mutual. Nothing! Nothing o!

Biko lekwa uwa'm! Me boyfriend snatcher? Ayaf suffer

Here I was thinking about my life, and feeling home sick.
I was exhausted from registration stress, signing course form here and there.
Hostel and girls wahala.
Trying to adjust to the weird stares of being the only girl in class.
Trying to evade guys with venomous, rapacious eyes, who had seen JJC, and trying to devour.

Then one ancient being would call me, spewing yada-yada about fiance, with her half baked English, laced with a thick 'yorubatic' accent: "leave my fiance alone"

Who told her I wanted her 'fiance'?
I wasn't even 20 yet.
On the list of 10 things I wanted to do, marriage was no 11.
Clearly marriage/ relationship hadn't made it on my list.
I was still thinking; if I wanted to be celibate or married..... Anyways I was still a teenager, I had plenty of time to make my decision.

Ehen, lest I forget about Aunty. I dunno if she eventually got married, because last I heard from 'fiance' he was either in Kathmandu or Timbuktu 'discovering himself + he was single AF.

Sweetheart you're not One Direction crew, nobody wants to steal your man. He wants to LEAVE
Don't make it seem like she has kryptonite in her possession. If a man wants to leave you, he'd leave you. You can barely do anything about it.
The best you could do in such situation is to walk away with your dignity.
There are 2 things I love: love and peace of mind, in no specific order.
So I can't feature in the drama of boyfriend dragging

He's gone!  Don't try to reach him through calls or messages. He'd just sigh and delete them, or worse case? He'd show it to a bunch of his buddies and his new girlfriend during happy hours to entertain the crowd and justify leaving you.

No matter how 'hot' that Instagram whore was, if what you had with your man was genuine, she wouldn't have been able to come between you and your man.
Don't call her Jolene, your life isn't a Dolly Parton song.

Know this,
• No one can steal your man.
• Secondly, he had a choice: to leave, or not leave.
• Lastly, he was not just committed to you, you thought he was.